Independence?

IMG_6423.JPG

IMG_6422.JPG

What does independence means to you?
Is it the events of wars to fight for the right to make our own decisions (in the U.S.), is it freedom declared by documents, is it democracy? You tell me… Let your words be heard… After you spill your thoughts about independence listen to others’.

Honestly, I think independence or being independent means to mature, to live life through you’re own decision making, finding out what makes you happy, finding your limits, discovering your mistakes, discovering ways to prevent repeating mistakes, and etc. No matter what age you are independence is always necessary, in any area. As of right now, at this moment, independence is what will set me free. Free from my pain. Free from my anger. Free from worrying about someone else’s welling being (who don’t appreciate it) more than mines. Free from feeling like a failure. Free from my negative thoughts. I’ve learned to never take independence for granted. Continue to make your own decisions and take responsibility for your own actions while the chance is given to you because once the time come when you feel like dependence is needed, you will fall in too deep, if you don’t know how to use dependence temporarily. Once dependence take over your character, you will lose your self of relevance, your happiness, and opportunities. You can trust someone with your secrets but never with you sense of self. Nobody can do anything for you like you can do for yourself.
So make your life easier and jump on any opportunity that you can with out anybody holding your hand through the process.

Sincerely,
Laneisha B 🙂

Advertisements

Prosperity!

ImageImage

 

The first photo is of Ganesha, a male Hindu goddess that represents new beginnings, remover of obstacles and also places obstacles for those who need to learn a lesson. She is highly represented in India an in other places beyond India, besides their religious affiliations. If he is worshiped, he grants success, prosperity, and protection. This is one of the gods that my mom prays to. She teaches he the teachings from Ganesha that she studies, so that I can carry on the wisdom.

The second photo is of Oshun: the Rivier Goddess. She is a female goddess: Yoruban Orisha, who widely worshiped in Nigeria. She represents fertility, nature, prosperity, happiness, rhythm, intimacy, beauty, and watches over the poor to provide for them. During festivals or any other events, she choose one or more women dancers to send her sole to, as they build rhythm, attract men, and become healers.

These two goddess are important to my mother, which makes them important to me because since she teaches me about them, her teaching influence me to follow her lead. My family is not religious but we are allies to many other religions/cultures and we do participate in what many cultures do. No matter if you are one type of religion or not, you can still pray to or worship any other god. These two just happens to stand out to me. I am not confused, I am open minded.

Best,

Laneisha B.

Image

Success!

Success!

I am happy to say that I finally accomplished one of my 5 goals before June. I have finally got enrolled in summer classes at Laney College. I am going to take Anthropology 1 and Geography 1. The reason for these classes are because I need to get some GEs out of the way and to get back on track with credits. The reason why I chose these classes instead of others is because I want to expand my knowledge on other things besides sociology, community studies, and learning about education. I have always wanted to take anthropology here at UCSC, but i have been afraid to. I also have always been interest in the formation of Earth and what it has to offer to human life. I am a nature person and enjoy to learn about evolution , I think these classes will work out for me in the summer. Not too long before I enrolled, I was stressed about not being able to fulfill my goal because non of Laney’s administration was getting back to me. Since I went to seek on campus resources to help me with my issues, I was able to enroll. I am on my way to success, and all I have to do is keep pushing! When this all pay of, I can kickback and relax at the beach, and maybe write success in the sand just like this!

Image

Lupus Awareness Month!

Lupus Awareness Month!

There are tons of awareness, fundraisers, charities, and togetherness to fight cancer, but not as much for lupus. I’m pretty sure many people aren’t aware of what lupus is. According to Lupus.org, Lupus is, “In lupus, something goes wrong with your immune system, which is the part of the body that fights off viruses, bacteria, and germs (“foreign invaders,” like the flu). Normally our immune system produces proteins called antibodies that protect the body from these invaders. Autoimmune means your immune system cannot tell the difference between these foreign invaders and your body’s healthy tissues (“auto” means “self”) and creates autoantibodies that attack and destroy healthy tissue. These autoantibodies cause inflammation, pain, and damage in various parts of the body” (Lupus Foundation of America). Sad to say, but yes, this is a harmful disease, but guess what? It’s manageable! Let me show you:
Dear fighter,
You are a beautiful black woman who deserves the world and nothing less. Taking pills everyday to manage your symptoms, outbreaks, pains, is not unfortunate, it is a blessing. You may feel like your are going through hell right now, but you really think about it, you aren’t. You have great possibilities of living a full life, you have a support system that will never give up on you, and you have an independence that your so called “friends” would die to have. Your 25 year old health body, figure, attitude and sold is a gift to this world that no one can replace. This gift doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to us. Us as in your family, your enemies, strangers, your protectors, and those who you protect. You may feel lonely from time to time, disappointed that your health isn’t what you wish for, and/or afraid that you can’t have a motherly connection with one of these angels that are reincarnated into this world each second, but you aren’t alone. I feel the same way, just never told you. I want to have a perfect health and get rid of my kidney disease, I want to be confident of having healthy ovaries to impregnate too, but only time will tell. We both go through the same things at times, you just don’t realize it. That’s why I keep my head held up high, and try to forget about my pain by keeping a crack in my lips that shows the glow of waking up to see a new day. Every time I see you, I always see pain. Find something that makes you happy. Keeping yourself around positive environment and being active will help you contribute to you staying healthy. You got this! You know what’s best for you like no one else. You’r aware of your sickness, so others should be! That’s why we’re wearing purple for you on Mother’s Day! Stay GOLDEN fat cheeks (hahahaha), love you always!

Truly Sincere,
Laneisha B.

My Short Term Goals for the Next 2 Months

First of all I want to say that I am so proud of myself for being where I am today. I am much more confident in my academics, I am reaching out to on campus resources, I am talking to my professors about possibly working with them, and I am going to become a peer adviser next year, and I am becoming more outspoken. This quarter turned out to be much better than the last two quarters because I finally found a major that I love.

My goals that have the most recent due date are my second midterm and my 3 essays. I am not used to studying but this quarter, I was able to study for my sociology midterm. My instructor provided the class with a study guide so that we can study what will be on the test. I was able to answer all of the questions and find the definitions for each term. I used note cards to study with my roommate. This was effective, but next time I know to have a study group with more than three of us students. This will be more effective than my last study technique because this will give each of us an opportunity to learn from each other what we don’t know, and teach each other what we do know. I really hope I passed my previous midterm. Regarding my 3 essays, I am really trying to pass my essays and my portfolio. I believe that Writing 21 has been the best thing to have happened me, to save my writing skills. Sarah goes over the steps and techniques to write an essay, and it has been crucially helpful for me. I am able to organize my paragraphs and I learned the distinction between each sentence in the format of a paragraph. I am going to continue to utilize all of the things that Sarah helped me with to complete an essay.

While completing these tasks/goals, I am going to start to apply for jobs for the summer, while I am at home. I am going to start during the middle of this month. I have a resume already, but I need to get it edited for a last time. I am also looking forward to participating in summer activities after my summer class at Laney College, while I am working. I want to maintain occupied in the summer so that I will not be bored and feel like I am not doing anything with my life. 

I believe that I can definitely complete all of these tasks, it just takes time to plan and succeed.

I hope you all have great plans for the summer also!

 

Best, 

Laneisha B.

 

Image

There’s Always HOPE in Oakland!

There's Always HOPE in Oakland!

As I was walking down Lake Shore with my family, coming from the farmers market, we walked by Lake Merritt, just to chill by the water (On 4/19/14). When we first got to the lake, there were a group of people singing and performing Capoeira. My baby cousin found it so appealing that the little cry baby mellowed down and found a groove to it. It was like he was mesmerized, then started to follow the beat, dancing and jumping around.
Next, we all got tired of standing, so we walked to a bench to sit down. Suddenly, we were appalled by a men who looked like he was fighting himself. He was squaring up, throwing jabs, kicking the air, and flipping around. My aunt approached him and asked him what was he doing and he told her that it was a mixture of Martial Arts, Kick Boxing, and Capoeira. My little brother then yelled out, “I want to learn, can you teach me?” The man responded saying he do not teach.
Then, we were approached by two women, telling us that if were interested, they were giving away free Root Beer floats to the community. We all agreed happily, and walked to the stand where they were preparing them. Right next to the stand there was another stand that a man was standing behind. He asked us if we can generously take a piece of paper, start a sentence off with HOPE, and end it with a polite comment regarding Easter to share with the Oakland community. We were then asked to thumbtack our notes on this piece of art as a blessing to the Oakland community.
There’s always HOPE in all of Oakland’s communities because these four groups of people took time out to entertain, feed, and give back to our community, out of the kindness of their hearts. It was clear that they want Oakland to become a safer, peaceful, and a more positive place for everyone. This realization touched me because it motivated me to continue to concentrate in school, so that I can become a successful woman of color to give back to my community and others in need. Communities in poverty need more of these types of events so that we can all appreciate life and be at peace. I am willing to contribute to that!
P.S. I love Oakland!

Best,
Laneisha B. 🙂

Image

My Relationship with my Hair

 

A few months before the other.

In David's Bridal a year back.

A year back.

A year back, different hair color.

When the shave was straightened.

A little before summer.

3 days after shaving my hair.

First time bleaching my hair with shaved hairstyle.

First time with an exotic color.

Finally growing out my hair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today.

 

Today.

Above are hair styles that I have had in the past year and stages of my hair grow today. [I am not my hair]

Growing up, I’ve always heard these ignorant comments saying that, “You have nice hair to be a black girl”, “You are so lucky to have good hair, I wish my hair was like yours”, “I love mixed girls, I only date girls with good hair, so you should feel lucky”. Before coming to college, these comments did not bother me because I thought that having “good hair” was a gift, that I should be lucky not to have “nappy/bad hair”. Every summer, I would cut my hair because of the Summer heat that was unbearable. People would tell me that I’m stupid for cutting my hair because there are people who would die and who pay thousands of dollars to get their hair like mine. My response would always be, “whatever, it’s going to grow back”. I was never the type of person to stress about my hair or wish my hair was like others’, I dealt with the length, or cut it more because I knew it was going to grow back.

Coming to college, I realized that there is no such thing as “good hair”. Everyone’s hair is beautiful in it’s own way, no matter the texture, no matter the quality or the quantity. Knowing that my hair texture is the way it is because I am Native American, Irish, Mexican, and of African descent, this still doesn’t give me an excuse to accept those ignorant comments anymore. I cherish the fact that I am of African descent and rarely think about my other ethnicity, so I vouch for all of those women who are only of African descent and are discriminated against because of the texture of their hair. I also persuade these women to stop victimizing themselves and to love their hair. If they really want it to be healthy and grow, take care of it and as I was told “be consistent” with what you do to your hair. Hair is hair, it doesn’t make you who you are. Remember, black is beautiful, be thankful for being unique!

Best,

Laneisha Butler